I Graduated A Year Ago And Still Don't Have A Full Time Job

Originally written May 8, 2020

I graduated a year ago today and still don’t have a full-time job.

And you know what? I don’t really care.

Well, sometimes I do still care. But I used to be so hard on myself for not having a job. American society puts too much pressure on having a traditional full-time job and making money. Why is having a job and making money our definition of success? Why can’t success be having a happy and fulfilled family life and relationships with others? If that were the case, I would be very successful.

For a long time, I would beat myself up because I didn’t think my retail job was a “real” job because it was my part-time college gig for so long. It also didn’t help that I surrounded myself with someone who very much valued the stereotypical American “success” job thing I was talking about earlier. But it’s a very real job! Most of my coworkers worked in retail as their full-time job. They loved it because it let them make enough money and have a flexible enough schedule to also still pursue things they loved, and that’s something I respect so much.

I think so many people put their career first, and there is definitely no shame in that, but I think for me right now it’s important to feel purposeful in life in ways outside of just my job. I strive to be a well-rounded individual, someone who finds happiness in a bunch of different aspects of my life. For so long I thought that finding a full-time salaried job would bring me happiness. But it’s not going to. A job isn’t going to change the way I feel. Money isn’t going to change anything. My happiness has to come from within.

So my focus has shifted. Instead of focusing on job searching, I am focusing more on self-fulfillment and happiness. Honestly, I like that goal way better than trying to find a job. Even if that means I have to move back to Virginia and live with my mother forever (hi mommy, get excited!). Anyway, I am going to continue to focus on my own happiness and finding my purpose in life, and I know a job will come eventually.

(Don’t worry, I am still applying to jobs. It’s just not my main priority right now, and I am not beating myself up over not having a job anymore)