Originally written November 28, 2019
I will be the first to admit that I absolutely hate holidays. I just feel like they never live up to the expectations in my head and they end up making me sad. Despite the fact that I don’t like holidays, this year I spent my first Thanksgiving alone which was quite different. I was originally planning on spending it with my friend’s family in Rhode Island, but when I was suddenly asked to work Black Friday last minute, I opted to stay in Boston to make it easier on myself, which meant that I would be spending the holiday alone.
At first thought, spending Thanksgiving by myself sounded really sad, and I will admit it was really hard to try to hold it together on the T coming home from work on the Wednesday before the holiday. I missed my family, and both of my roommates and boyfriend were all going home to their respective families. Luckily that evening I went to a hot pilates class at my favorite studio (Breathe) and it put me in such a good mood and really changed my mindset for the next few days. Instead of being sad I couldn’t be with loved ones, I decided to look at this time as a break from being with people 24/7 and allowed myself to do what I wanted. I came home and made myself a really good dinner, baked a gluten free pumpkin pie, and went to bed knowing that tomorrow would be a good day of self care for me.
I woke up the next morning and it was a beautiful day outside so I went for a walk. When I came back, I made myself an elaborate breakfast of scrambled eggs, prosciutto, salami, cheese and crackers. I spent a few hours writing blog posts and journaling. My sister FaceTimed me. I cooked myself the only Thanksgiving food I like (gluten free stuffing, mashed potatoes, and lots of vegetables). I ate my feast while watching Friends, it was lovely. Halfway through my dinner I FaceTimed with my sister and mom. Then I cleaned everything up, painted my nails, did a facemask and watched Home Alone for the first time while eating pie and ice cream.
The holidays can be a really hard time for some and it’s always okay to feel sad (it’s okay to feel sad whenever). And if that’s what you’re feeling, lean into it! You will probably feel better if you cry a little and get it out of your system. And as a reminder for everyone else, please be kind to each other, and don’t force cheer onto others, you never know who is struggling. If you are spending the holidays alone this season, know that you aren’t truly alone and make the most of your holiday.