Originally written February 21, 2020
Break ups are an unfortunate inevitable part of life. They suck because you feel a bunch of emotions but for the most part you are just in pain, and I don’t think I need to explain more than that. I was recently broken up with and it sucks but I have been using this time to write a lot more and focus more on myself. There is no “one way” a break up should look, you just need to do what feels right for you. Here are some things that work for me and the advice I tell my friends.
Right after the break up:
Cry (it’s not good to hold it in)
Block them immediately on your phone and social media (it hurts too much to see their name constantly in your inbox, DM’s, texts and it’ll help you not think about them constantly or contact them)
Download a dating app (helps to be validated that you’re attractive and can still find love or whatnot AND more importantly, shows you who else is out there!)
Go for a trip with a friend or even just sleepover at a friend’s house so you can be distracted and not moping around
Give yourself a week to indulge your sadness (lay in bed all week, eat more ice cream, watch happy movies, etc.) Feel all your feelings!!! After the week is up, you need to get back up though and get after it!
Find a happy song to get you through (my song was Sunday Best by Surfaces)
A few weeks after:
Post a tasteful thirst trap on social media if that’s your thing
Journal about how you’re feeling
Continue your normal routines (continue eating at regular times, exercising, etc.)
Invest in yourself, do things you like to do (maybe do something your ex never liked doing)
Meet new people
Do things you used to do with your ex if it isn’t too painful to remind yourself that you can still do those things without them
Call your family more
Spend more time with your friends
The first week after a break up is the hardest, but if you can make it past that week I know you can make it through the rest of it. Rather than focusing on getting over the person, you should focus on yourself and making sure you are okay. Make sure to be kinder to yourself than usual and be mindful not to slip into unhealthy habits (ie. stalking them on social media, binge drinking or eating, etc).
Remember that everything happens for a reason and you are going to be okay. I am a big proponent of therapy and would definitely recommend that for anyone going through a hard time if you’re interested. Trust that you and your significant other broke up for a reason and it’s life’s way of making room for something better for both of you. That person isn’t your person and that is okay! You are amazing and wonderful and you made it this far in life without that person, so you can make it on your own without them again. Be kind, be patient, and eventually you will feel better. Sending you so much love if you are going through a break up right now <3